EXPLANATION, NOT DEFENSE, OF MY INSTAGRAM

A brief explanation, not defense, of my Instagram.
I am not trying to recapture my 20s, I am celebrating the fuck out of my 50s.
I wouldn’t go back to being 25 for nathan. I love where I am, right here, right now.
I am not using social media to get dick. I assure you, my bench is plenty deep with or without IG.
My goal is for people, especially women of color, to look at my flix and be inspired, not jealous.
I want them to think “This bitch is 52 and she is living her life out loud. She is fearless and confident, and I want to move more like that.”
Know why? Because nothing out here tells us we are bad and beautiful and powerful. We need to find that within ourselves and each other.
I’m at the gym 6 days a week, I eat clean, and sleep well.
I don’t smoke, drink, or get high.
My body is my temple and it happens to have legs for days.
So if you don’t like it or don’t get me, get the fuck up off my page, B.

My name is Sophia Chang and I was raised by Wu-Tang.

NARCISSISM

Having managed artists, including my ex, for the better part of 30 years, I know a little something about narcissism. I've read about the condition but found this video particularly interesting and educational. As I watched, I recognized a lot of the traits not only in the men (only men) that I've worked with, but also some in myself (how narcissistic). My friends might say I have an outsized ego, supreme self-confidence, and a healthy degree of narcissism. And they would be right. However, I temper all of that with true humility that allows me to recognize the beauty and brilliance of others, which separates me from the textbook narcissist.

The question I have to ask myself is not to what degree am I a narcissist, rather why I feel so compelled to work with them. After he met an old friend of mine whom I believe suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a new friend said "Wow, you are so patient." When I asked why he said "Because you can just sit there an listen to that guy talk about himself on and on." I looked at him and said "I've worked with artists for decades, of course I'm used to narcissists."

But his question stuck with me. My dear friend Elizabeth told me years ago that she really wanted me to stop working with narcissists. And for years my friends have been urging me to author a book about my life but I couldn't bring myself to write about how cool my life is. Firstly, there are countless people with far cooler lives than me and secondly, it seemed like an exercise in narcissism. Finally, at 50, I chose to pursue public speaking seriously because I understood it was a way to use my experiences to teach people. My father, god rest his soul, was a math professor, my mother a librarian, and my brother an English professor. I was definitely supposed to become a professor as well. And now I find that life has come full circle. Such is the beauty of the universe.

In stepping into the spotlight where the focus is on me rather than brilliant but utterly self-involved men, I am answering Elizabeth's wish. I will write a book and continue to keep speaking to as many ears as will listen. And I will remain friends with but try to stay away from the narcissists who have come to define most of my career.

GET THE FUCK UP AND SEE "GET OUT"

Last weekend I told my friends Beau Sia and Kris Ex about a dinner I'd had at Mission Chinese in the LES in NYC. My brother and I were seated at a communal round table and I (foolishly) asked the white father and son next to us what they'd ordered. The father enthusiastically answered then proceeded to ask where we were from, tell us he was married to a Thai woman, and that he was a fan of Asian cuisine. I said to Beau and Kris "I want white men to stop fucking tell me that they have an Asian girlfriend or wife." They both immediately said "You've got to see 'Get Out.'"

I had seen the cryptic billboards all over Hollywood, but had not yet watched the graphic trailer. I hate horror flicks, haven't seen one in ages, but based on my boys telling me it was about race and it being Jordan Peele, I was all the way in. I saw it today and it didn't disappoint. All the performances are spot on. I will now see anything Daniel Kaluuya is in and really hope that Lil Rey Howery acts more.

The appearance of a sole Asian in a key scene of otherwise almost all white people was surprising. I read this analysis in Next Shark which makes some interesting points, the strongest of which being "Now it’s our job, as Asians, to recognize our complacency under the canopy of white supremacy and realize that like Black folks, we have nothing to gain by siding with whiteness." I have spoken publicly about the need for Asians--and anyone who is not black or brown--in hip hop especially to acknowledge our privilege.

I want white people to see this movie so they can get a clue of how racist they're being with their seemingly innocuous and welcoming comments. Again, the best thing I've ever written and uttered, how this Asian woman rocks a mic.